Pens

recently, when i closed an insurance case, the client noticed my cheap ballpoint pen.

"cherub!", she exclaimed, "u should use a better pen".
By a better pen, she meant those branded fountain pen.


problem is, i would die a bankrupt.
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you see, i have a lifelong problem with pens ever since i started using pens (in primary 4? i can't remember when we switched from pencils to pens).

pens run away from me.
every single of them.

firstly, i tend to drop pens, rendering them useless.
ballpoint pens are pretty much, ehm, ball-based. so once u dropped it, the ball will get dislodged and the ink can't flow out smoothly.

"Then don't use Ballpoint pens lah, use other kind!" you say....
(actually i do, i use those japanese gel-based ones, much more sturdy, and still cheap. plus give me a youthful feel. at least when i pretend to be teenager, swirling the pen around)

if u think that those expensive fountain branded pen is indestructible, then obviously mont blanc did not include me as their "typical customer" in their durability and stress tests.

I humbly suggest that mont blanc pay me a handsome sum to test out and market a new range of "durable pen", for people who ought to stick to a dark piece of rock to write.

anyway, this durable pen would probably not be designed cos it would effectively ends the market for normal pens to those "who destroy pens like crazy". since we know these pple effectively contributes to 50% of the bottomlines of pen companies, i guess pen companies have no incentive to sell such a pen.

but then again, 48% of the market belongs to those "who lose pens like crazy".


uhm, i am one of those too.
in fact, it has come to the point, i may consider tagging all my pens. not with those ugly paper tags tat reads "Cherub's" but RFID tags (Radio Frequency Identification). those that they are trying to put in all products to replace barcodes in supermarkets.

U push 1 whole trolley of goods past the cashier, and "Bling!" the entire value is recorded.



Don't you love technology that takes money from you?


but let's not digress.

the reason why I'm considering to RFID my pens is that I can't control them.
seriously, before i break them, they know that they would have a tramatic and short life with me, and so they sneak away the moment my eyes left them.

I once pretend to be asleep and i swore, i heard "clicking" sounds, alike those sounds pens make when they tiptoe away.
of course, i can't be too sure cos I have not heard for myself those sounds that pens make when they tiptoe away.

so i hope that with RFID, at least when they venture 10m more than me, a device in my wallet or watch would beep really loudly and alert me.
of course, it would potentially embarrass me in the middle of orchard road, but i can live with that.
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I once bought a whole box of pens and it lasted less than a month.
pens hate me.

Pluto - Dwarf now

Do you know that Pluto is declassified as a planet?
Yup, in one of the gathering of the nerds, a group of scientists, academics have decided to downgrade Pluto to a "dwarf planet" status.

And to begin with, the meeting started off discussing whether to classified 2 large moons of pluto as "planets".
now not only the 2 moons failed to be classified, Pluto itself is downgraded.

Thats' really goofy.
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Quote from KingMeng, at a local regional (coz got malaysians mah) forum,

Although we think it's Dopey that Pluto has been downgraded to a dwarf planet, which has made some people Grumpy and others just Sleepy, we are not Bashful in saying we would be Happy if Disney's Pluto would join us as an eighth dwarf. We think this is just what the Doc ordered and is nothing to Sneeze at.

Paradox of Invisible and yet Pink.

(note: religious people, please do not proceed. article below may be offensive.)


something that gssq would probably find it worthwhile....

Religion fosters bad behavior (by Institute for Humanist Studies)
Drawing on a wide range of studies to cross-match faith – measured by belief in God and acceptance of evolution – with homicide and sexual behavior, Paul found that secular societies have lower rates of violence and teenage pregnancy than societies where many people profess belief in God.
.....~

Despite all its fine words, religion has brought in its wake little more than violence, prejudice and sexual disease. True morality is found elsewhere. As UK Guardian columnist George Monbiot concluded in his review of Gregory Paul’s study, "if you want people to behave as Christians advocate, you should tell them that God does not exist."
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The muslims have their cresent. the christians have their cross.
hmmm, what about atheists? is there a symbol for atheist?

so i went around wikipedia, and google. (i love google images).

turn out that there is quite a range of symbols for the atheists. Not a good thing, since nothing is as unifying as 1 common standard.

There is the "atom" image, as represented at the top of this post, probably a show of faith in science.
There is a simple band of circle. there is a logo of a cross being crossed (pun intended). And a flower-looking one (wth).

but the one that I really like.....the invisible pink unicorn (IPU).



From wikipedia,

It is common when discussing the Invisible Pink Unicorn to point out that because she is invisible, no one can prove she does not exist. This is a parody of similar theistic claims about God, i.e. that because God is omnipresent, inability to detect him does not reduce his believability. The IPU serves as a parodic demonstration that utilizing a lack of evidence as proof of a deity's nature is ultimately absurd; that by this logic the IPU is just as credible as God.

National Day Rally Aftermaths

Prime Minister Lee gave a pretty interesting National Day Rally speech the other day.

Interesting because quite a few jokes on him, i feel.
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He mentioned abt the funny podcast where a parody centred around a "bak cho mee" with no "tua kua".

so he said that the government can up it by doing a "mee siam" with no "hum" (cockles).

eh. since when mee sian got "hum"??


and of course mrbrown poke fun at him again....lol.
a new songtrack for our nation......damn funny.

wonder when would any politician takes action against any blogger.
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PM Lee mentioned abt "talkingcock.com".
Firstly, he uttered "talking cock" on national tv. Like what colin goh (creator of talkingcock.com) said in an interview afterwards, now that the Prime Minister said the words "talking cock" (a form of a vulgar expression, isn't it?) on national tv, we can die happy liao.

and he said "some jokes are funny, some jokes are not"

damn damn funny..coz i do believe he was referring to "Diary of the Dragon Prince", a series of make-believe entries of our beloved Prime Minister, which mocked fun of him, his fellow PAP politicians, and his wife. haha.
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PM Lee said singapore needs 50,000 babies, and we only got 35,000 babies last year.

he said "even i can't make up for the 15,000 extra babies needed" (i can't remember the exact wordings)

You would laugh if you read the Diary of the Dragon Prince regularly. he was protrayed regularly as a serious womaniser who can easily bed many womens in a year.

but seriously, i doubt it. haha!
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And the reaction of talkingcock.com being mentioned is hilarious.



Read more here.

Gay Boyfriend

From gssq,



Gay Boyfriends - The Hazzards.

the lyrics......nice!
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I'm trying my best to be a gay boyfriend.


Ahhh...the female mind. want a boyfriend, also want someone that thinks like a girl. wtf.

Abigail

uhm.

I've just learnt recently that "Abigail", the famous 'lady' who starred in the comedy "Under One Roof"......


used to be a man. (the photo above, from The New Paper)
she underwent a sex change operation 25years ago.

Since he was young, Abigail formerly known Caesar Chay (“I was named Caesar because I was a baby born through a Caesarian operation,”) knew he was a woman trapped in a man’s body and he grew up wishing and hoping that somehow things would change for him.

“My childhood to my teenage years were spent hoping that I could become a real woman, so that my fantasy can become real, and it won’t be wrong.”

From "The woman in the mirror"


i remember we used to laugh at her for being so.... grotesque.
and plus her wailing voice on TV....

i thought it was all make-believe, that a woman uglifies herself for entertainment purposes.


Oh god.
now i realise why she's so ugly looks different.... she was a MAN!!!

but then...25years liao leh!
enough time for all the hormones, make-up, mannerism to take effect right?


*cough*
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One more interesting nugget.
Remember the famous "McDonald's granny" in the mcdonald ads of 1992?
The one where the granny said "带孙子出去。。。很麻烦。。"
(the famous granny passed away in 2002)



She's Abigail's mother.

Games - Killers of all r/s Part 2

after feather blogged, in a short but 'forceful' entry about how video games ruin relationships (and which i did the gayest thing ever, complaining that my best friend spend more time on football than with me....), her mummy gave her this video link.


what an interesting mum. =)



(it was photobucket, but I found the same one on YouTube, coz photobucket can't load on firefox)


Now i know why my exgf bought me a Playstation......

"Human" behavior

I'm a misogynist.
and its just getting stronger, from hearsay, from personal experience, from scientific evidence.


and i'm worried that I can never find a female that can live with me.

oh well.
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Got this from The Dilbert Blog (by Scotts Adam, the creator of Dilbert)

--- start ---

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the "Thermostat Wars" [from Dilbert comics]. He told me about one office with 30 women where they could never get the temperature to an agreeable level. At his suggestion they installed 20 dummy thermostats around the office. Everyone was told that each thermostat controlled the zone around itself.

Problem solved. Now that everyone has "control" of their own thermostat there is no problem.

--- end ---

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its actually titled "Human Behavior", but it seems so familiar to me that I think its basically a very female behavior.

And of course Scotts Adam can't risk annoying female readers right :P

Games - Killers of all r/s Part 1

feather's blog:

"Games. Killer to all relationships."

"Sorry", By her bf

"heehee", by Cherub

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Cherub: got plans? eat supper?
Absolut: Tonight got football... Ve premier league is back!
Cherub: football. killer to all relationships.

Friends are close acquaintances for a period of time

i just realised i haven't met a few of my friends for quite a while.

i wonder how many of my ex-hostel friends read my blog nowadays?

i only meet up with 1 hostel friend quite often, and basically gatherings for this group of friends are ONLY organised by he and me...so i guess tats why we two can meet up often.

i organise for him and me.
he organise for him and me lor.

haha!
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just saw an old photo of army days...
wah liew...last time we all look damn silly.

recruit hair cut and scared-shit face....

haha!
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Think really losing a lot of friends liao, but really don't feel like organising any gatherings for them. if they can't be bothered to try and meet up (not asking them to organise, just meeting up when we call them), then why should we bother?

beside......i'm getting a PS2.

HAHA!

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Tip of the Day: How not to lose ur friends.

I introduced my best friend (a guy) from secondary school to my bestest friend (a girl) in Economics.
there goes 2 of my friends!

how do u blog against 50%

so many things to blog.

so many things i can't blog because no matter how statistically accurate it could be, i would still be mobbed by 50% of the world population.


argh. Stop proving me right.....

If there is God, I don't mind having him on my side.

eh.

i spent abt 1 hour plus talking to pastor about career opportunities in my field.
and i spent an hour listening to his preaching.

oh god.
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eh, now i have to fulfil my promise of having a private conversation with god tonite.

somebody wish Him good luck.

Happy 41st Birthday, Singapore

this national day, i would like to highlight the gap we have between the national anthem and most singaporean citizens.

at least those not possessing a knowledge of malay.
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The national language of Singapore is Malay, for historical reason given that Singapore is in the middle of the Malay hinterland for a large part of her existence, even after the British landed here in 1819.

I do believe that more than about 70% of Singaporeans do not understand the national langauge.

And that our national anthem is sung in Malay, and most of us have problems singing it, let alone understanding the significance of the lyrics.

For many times, I have heard singaporeans singing the national anthem awkwardly, with wrong pronounciation of many words.

taken from Bao,

this is a rendition by Olivia Ong, a Singaporean singer based in Japan. She's a professional singer, so I can safely assume her pronounciation ought to be accurate

(i digress here, but I think she has a very sophiscated kind of chio..heehee)

when I hear her sing, i find many phrases seemingly unfamiliar.
Thats because my classmates, and most probably a large part of my schoolmates who have sung with me for the past decades, have not been singing it correctly.

whoot.


And then, how many of us understand the significance of the anthem?
I asked a good number of Singaporeans, and most of them are clueless.
At the very most, they know it means "Progress Forward, Singapore" or something like tat...

Actually it is "Onward Singapore", read the translation and meaning here.
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It may be true that in history, a large part of Singapura (the malay name of Singapore) was rooted in the Malay hinterlands. However that was a long time ago, and a vast majority of the population now do not understand Malay.

I do speculate that Malay was chosen as a national language due to historical as well as political reasons.
It is so much easier to promote relationship with your 2 bigger neighbouring countries when you can point out that you share a history and the same national language.

But as we mature and approach 50years of age, shouldn't we ponder our "roots"?
I am not too sure how other feels, but I don't feel a great sense of linkage with Malaya history.

I feel that Singapore has a stronger linkage to Britain or China, given that the trading post was started by British, and the population was filled by Chinese. But I would be appalled if our national anthem is in Mandarin. We are after all, not a mere colony of China.

But to feel so distant from our national language, and its anthem, the citzen in me just don't feel right.

I would have been more comfortable with English as the national language, given that it is understood by majority of the population. It is the true universal language of Singapore, and ought to be ranked as national language.

What is the use of a national language/anthem if the average nationality does not understand it?

Death > Critical Illness

with only 2 years of experience, it is with much regret that i did my first TPD (total and permanent disability), and subsequently my first death claim (even before the TPD claims are processed).

i remember senior agents have said that death/TPD/critical illness claims are not very common but once it happened, it may change your outlook in life.


though death was unwelcome, it was a blessing.
the curse of cancer is really devasting.
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i took 1 whole day to process the claims. there was numerous insurance companies to go.
basically, the deceased has purchased insurance coverage from all major insurance companies in Singapore.

death ought to be the most simple claim. there wasn't any police report, no accident reports. No statement required.
but even then, there was certificates to be verified, reports to be filed, and claimant's identities to be established.

Who said death was simple?
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I wish that all these insurance companies can band together and have a central system where u file ur claims in 1 location.
this way, its much more convenient.

at this claimant had me to go around all the service centres, I was aware of the locations coz I am working in this field.
Any other person would have sweat like hell walking around with a chunk of documents
(hell, even early preparations and prior work knowledge require me to make 2 trips due to extra documents required)


when you die, of course u need the money ASAP to deal with the funeral.
if not, as I retorted to an officer, how to conduct funeral? body throw on the ground ah?

I wanna be surrounded by Super Heroines

I wanna be like the guy in this MTV!!!




I mean, he is fat lah! but don't u find him cute? his style is damn entertaining, not to mention that he is a superhero (with cape and boots, no less....=p)


AND....

he's surrounded by 4 pretty girls!!! 4 pretty japanese girls!

somemore in boots. (i am such a boot-fetish guy => girls wear boots, cherub excited!)

Not just in boots, but colour-coordinated boots with their skirts!
and.....different colours for each girl!

Pretty Pink, Wonderful White, Babyish Blue, Passionate Purple!
(yes, i know the text of "white" is not white... don't get smart with me)

whooo...i love girls in costumes.
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Alright, let me summarise.
I love pretty japanese girls in colour-coordinated costumes involving sexy boots.

Dangerous Animal

Copied wholesale from Agagooga. (I'm liking this guy more and more),

A female friend:

"I'm watching a Japanese Drama about matriarchial lineage and the thorny issue of inheritance. I'm working in a company that has more women than men now as a part time contractor (ok, glorified pencil pusher).

Remind me never to offend women. Hell hath no fury like a women scorned is an understatement. Women are scary even without being scorned. Add greed, ambition and plain haughtiness, women can be more poisoness and cunning than the most dangerous animal anyone can think of.

[Me: Women are like elephants blah blah] Women hold the memory of the world in little pieces."


Another female friend - singaporean-born and currently foreign-based ("just put me down as An Enlightened Singaporean"):

"you might want to research why this is the case...heh. and i'm being serious

as in, do a series on Why Singaporean Women are Neurotic and Have Low Self-Esteem and Follow Trends Blindly and Cares (sic) About Other People's Opinions"

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Girls are nice pple, really. sometimes. well, at least once in a while.
=)

Hot Stuff!

its so hot in the USA, that u can bake cookies in ur car!!
Source here.



I wanna try it with my car soon!! :D
maybe can bake cake...

anyone's birthday coming soon?