Friday, January 14, 2005

And so the roadshow ends

By the middle of the 2nd roadshow, the number of consultants in the period between shift changes can swell to roughly 25, including managers.



Now now, imagine 25 jokers, lined up in near straight rows of whites and blacks.



Hey Macarena!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I've been so exhausted from my work, with about 10hrs of work daily.

Including weekends.



Including Xmas, New Year's Eve. New Year's Day.



I'm awfully glad for reopening of school semester.

~~~~~~~~~~



Speaking of Xmas, guess what I got for my xmas gifts?



On the twelfth day of Christmas,



My sugar mummy fairy godmother sent to me....



12 bags of money

11 diamond rings

10 clients knocking

9 blondes stripping (Paris, Nicky, Britney, Christina, Jessica Simpson, Maria Carey, Alicia Silverstone, Cameron Diaz, Leonardo Dicaprio Pamela Anderson)

8 Pink Dollars

7 Rainbow Colours

6 more lives (does tat make me a pussy...cat?)

5 Porsche

4 computers (yes yes, I'm a nerd)

3 A's (2 modules and 1 thesis)

2 mistress (1 ang moh, 1 asian. muahaha)



And a Fish in the big big sea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



There is a Christmas Price Index, which tracks the cost of all the gifts in the classic holiday song "The 12 Days of Christmas". By the PNC advisors.



On the 13th day of christmas, my true love sent to me....



one big bill.



2005 Christmas Price Index - the 12 classic gifts will cost a whooping USD $17,296.91!!



The Christmas Index



2004

chg 03-04

One Partridge in a Pear Tree

$93

20.0%

Partridge

15.00

0.0%

Pear Tree

78.00

24.8%

Two Turtle Doves

40.00

-31.0%

Three French Hens

45.00

200.0%

Four Calling Birds

396.00

-1.0%

Five Gold Rings

255.00

-29.4%

Six Geese-a-Laying

210.00

40.0%

Seven Swans-a-Swimming

3,500.00

0.0%

Eight Maids-a-Milking

41.20

0.0%

Nine Ladies Dancing

4,400.13

4.0%

10 Lords-a-Leaping

4,039.08

3.0%

11 Pipers Piping

2,053.20

3.6%

12 Drummers Drumming

2,224.30

3.6%

Total Christmas Price Index

17,296.91

2.4%

True cost of Christmas in song

66,334.46

1.6%

"Core" index, excluding swans

13,796.91

3.1%



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I just realised in one of the fund raising activities of Ren Chi Charity show, many artists did lots of push ups to induce phone calls.



Oh boy, still remember the time during the early army days.

entire company of soldiers, doing 120 push-ups in 1 shot.



"I want u guys to remember this magic number forever. 120!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was wondering abt the presence of huge concrete blocks around my company's office buildings.

To deter illegal parking? They could have use simple plastic barriers.



It had only occurred to me today.

anti-terrorism measure.



ah, the bonus of working for a well-loved company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



One of those days.....



as I was preparing paper work to provide CPF health insurance for this, ahem, auntie, I let her know that this policy can be extended to immediate family members.

so she requested that I help her to apply the coverage for her son.



1st Warning Sign.



Wah, you got a son ah, can't tell leh.

*her hand on my arm* I'm a SINGLE mum.



2nd Warning Sign



So I will do a proper policy review for you. You bring all your policies, investment statements and reports, I will conduct a financial review for you.

Alright, this saturday?

What time is appropriate for you?

Anytime. I am off the whole day. Whats your handphone number?



*note: usually its not that easy to get a confirmed appointment, somemore a "anytime". And usually its agent that ask first for the contact number. Not client.*



3rd Warning Sign



Beside policy review, you can call me anything to date me out ah.





And so the day ends with a sms

"What time you working till today? And are you still single?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



yes! finalli a date...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I'm kidding & I'm spooked. I'm selling policies, not my body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



And so 2004 left. And 2005 came.



2004: Good to see you Cherub.

cherub: Yeh. It was nice having you around, but I can't say I am sadden by ur departure.

2004: *gash* how can u say tat! I tried my best for you.

cherub: best? best my ass lah.

2004: u got ur car! u woke up and smelled the rose. U got a lovely high-paying job! wat more do u want?

cherub: george bush won. enough said.

2004: aiyah, sorry for tat lah. I tried.

2005: harlow cherub! harlow 2004!

cherub *cheerily* : harlow!

2004 *sulks* : yeh

2005: good job 2004! u did a great job! thanks for passing me a much neater world.

2004: yeh yeh watever.

cherub: hey, can u do a better job for me? My thesis, for god's sake. my love life? (or lack therefore of) My job? my money? my investment!!!

2005: er....I'm only 1 year.

cherub: 2004 did a great job for me.

2004: that wasn't wat u said to me just now!

cherub: no point patronising u now tat u're history.



2004 sulks and leave the room



cherub: so 2005, make my investments make money. upgrade my job status. make my europe backpacking exciting and smooth. enhance my love life, my sex life, my academic life, my social life.

2005: !!!!!!

cherub: you can do it.

2005: u know. from 2004 records, u hv an awful high chance of car collusion, thesis failure. love life? wat love life?

cherub: err.

2005: investment? except for a few miserable dollars in ur policy, wat investments??

cherub: i was referring to my 4Ds and totos.

2005: oh.



cherub: so how?

2005: start "saka-ing" 2006.

2 comments:

Merenwen said...

Cherub!! Got girl hit on you, good what!

By the way Nicky Hilton's not blonde anymore, she's dyed her hair dark and gone brunette for a long time.

~Sheena~

Cherub said...

eh, not girl.

its auntie okay?
AUNTIE.

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