Grouses & Counsel

树大招风。

the sweetest apple attracts the most flies.
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I would love to whine, but unfortunately so many bad things have befell my close friends that my grouses seem to be nothing more but ripples across the lake.

thats the annoying thing abt this job, i can't whine to most of my friends coz they are my clients or clients to be. and i can't whine to some others coz they were insurance agents before and they hold a partisan view of this line.

but thats not the crux of the matter.

one kind soul prodded more into the crisis and i find myself trying to explain the workings of the industry more than my problem.
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with regards to work, and sigh, love,
I have given advice so rapturously these few weeks that I have to add a disclaimer to my advice.

I seldom practise what I preach.

Star of Fortune

i would love to blog more abt why i'm not blogging more.

but i can't.

so i'll hv to make pretend that i'm enjoying my life, watching lots of movies, playing classic computer games and reading books.
(come to think of it, this is quite close to the truth)

currently reading Jeffrey Archer's "Sons of Fortune"

Not one told me that Jeffrey Archer's novels contain romance and hints of sexuality.
just what i need in Dec, i'm pretty sure.
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interestingly, the father of the protagonist is an insurance salesman who worked his way up to a regional manager (by regional, i don't mean an area the size of Ang Mo Kio, mind you).
he spoke abt insurance to, ahem, the President of the United States, in the White House.
sibei hao siao.

President Johnson listened attentively to Nat's father as he explained the problems Americans would be facing if they all lived to the age of ninety and were not properly covered by life insurance. 'In the next century, Americans will spend as long in retirement as they do in work', were the words LBJ repeated to his cabinet the following morning.

but there is another paragraphy that caught my eyes. something that my friends would know when I whine incessantly about the women these days.

......and you're almost the only person I know who always insists on paying his own way. You'd be surprised by how many people assume I'll pick up the tab just because I can afford it. I despise such people......

bags of water

salesgirl: that bag is more pricey because its using premium leather from water buffalo.
neofik proceeds to fondle bag.
cherub: wah, water buffalo leather leh. mai xiao xiao. water buffalo skin must be confirm water-proof right!!

-.-"

neofik: wonder if the black one is cheaper than the brown one.
cherub: nay, the black one should be more expensive. coz black water buffalo more rare than brown water buffalo.

-.-"


actually if the leather is made from dairy milk cows, how?


he's black, he's white.

then they hv to cut the black patches and sew together?


i know i know, i'm a little bit more boliao than usual.

old friendships

[Ed: I have taken away the 2nd part due to distraction from the focus of the title]

neofik: so the army gathering u coming hor....
cherub: eh *arrogant-guy-who-shld-not-be-named* not coming hor
neofik: he not going ba.
neofik: unless he psychic.


haha. i had a good laugh at this comment.
for those a bit slow, it simply implies that he wasn't informed of the army gathering...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so an army gathering is now on the horizon.

sometimes i wonder the value of friendship to many of my army-mates, and on a larger picture, to many people.

this army gathering has been long overdue, but then, looking back on the past few years of gathering, it has always been the same old people.

and every time, we know that there are some people who would never be caught dead in with us. These are people who condemned their armymates, their 2 1/2 years of hell, and would rather forget every single episode of their short military stint, including any resemblance of friendship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when i look into my other friendships over time, i tend to see the same pattern, albeit on different scales and significance.

On a primary school gathering, i was told (i failed to attend due to sickness), the same faces turned up. many friends who seldom turned up for other gatherings, err, didn't turn up again for other (more important?) reasons.

some has gf/bf.
some has work.
some has er, dunno lah, other more impt reasons i guess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i always have two school of thoughts around me.
1 is that treasure very friendship, especially the old established ones and those that you spent most time with.

the other school of thought is that u only need a few friends. the rest are just "hi-and-bye" acquaintances. don't bother spending efforts on them.

Well, what kind of a friend do you think u are?

checks & balances

i suppose the whole blogsphere would be crawling with analyses and opinions of the latest report on the NKF, the pseudo charity that funnel only 10% of their funds to the patients.

i have nothing creative to add, except that in the light of the coming General Elections (would the Bishan-ers get to vote? NAY.), i would only emphasis one point.

Power corrupts.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

and then the family is back.

my family is finally back from HK!!

while, i have not slaved (house chores) these few days, the house has been a little too quiet for my taste.
my grandma (who's staying with us after hospitalisation from a bad fall onboard a bus), my maid and me. just the 3 of us.

the food got pretty innovative at times, since the maid was cooking for less, she experimented with some new soups and stuff.
innvative not equal to good hor.

much of the silence can be attributed to the absence of my younger bro. usually when he's around, chaos reign. and he would alway hang around when i battled dragons and save princess on my PC.

not a coincidence i completed my game and saved many worlds from the devasting resurrection of the Old ones, the cruel Lizardmen.

but oh well, its good to have him back.
someone to hold my legs still while i do situps, and to supply me cups of drinking water while I'm busy MSN-ing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my bestest friend, Swiss Miss the slave while the entire family went on holidays (the maid too, on her own holidays back home) has her family back home from china too.

so coincidentally that the family forgot to purchase travel insurance, and they lost a bag.
no insurance, no claims for lost bag.

being an insurance spokesperson, no, i'm not feeling sorry that they didn't buy insurance.

i'm sorry that MY GIFT was in the lost bag.
bloody thief, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

amazingly, i think the entire village is away to 'China', and all at the same time too.
this whole month, i've sold countless of travel insurance to taiwan (to emphasis the CCP's stand, Taiwan is a province of China), HK, and china.

and 19th is always the magical date. they are either departing on 19th, or leaving on 19th.

is there something special abt 19/12/05?

The economic guy

I just realised that i refer to my friends in "assigned groups"

my army friends
my sex sec school friends
my primary school friend
my JC friends
my E3 (hostel friends who stayed with me, E3 refer to Block E, level 3) friends.

err.

so i was telling rudewhennude that I would be meeting my economic friends for ice-cream.

she was pretty astonished. "so economic friends are friends you meet to discuss economic?"

NO lah.
actually economic(al) friends are friends who are economical to hang out with.
they are pple who bought insurance from me.

so the other friends are uneconomical friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EH! economic friends are my faculty-mates lah! :P we all graduated from faculty of economics mah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weird me.
Spent a weekday, an entire thursday outside with friends, chitchat (partly work, partly fun), food, KARAOKE, and geylang supper....out till 3am.

and i spent friday and saturday night at home reading and MSN-ing.
my whole notion of weekends and weekdays is disturbed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How Average Joes can retire rich

Tune out that static. You needn't be an investing genius to retire with a big 401(k) balance.

In fact, when it comes to the three main choices you have in your retirement account -- how much to contribute, how to allocate your money between stocks and bonds and which funds to choose -- a recent study by Putnam Investments shows that investing prowess isn't what matters.

It's how much you sock away.

In other words, saving more leads to, well, more savings. Not exactly a revolutionary idea, true, but it's surprising how big a bang you get by upping the percentage of salary you put in and how slight the payoff is from being a fund savant
(con't here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Two books that I went through reviews and stuff...that I would really wanna buy.
as long as I cleared my cupboards of all my unwanted stuff.

The Undercover Economist: Exposing Why the Rich Are Rich, the Poor Are Poor--and Why You Can Never Buy a Decent Used Car!

Freakonomics : A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything

Two great books! Anyone here who has read these books?

Pool or LAN?

Hmmm.
Anyone has knowledge of operating or opening a pools (Billard or snooker) place, or a LAN shop? basically an entertainment centre.

I have a very good location, but not the knowledge. Email me here (archcherub@hotmail.com)


Anyone?

1 advantage of my job

since work is getting super mundane and tiring, i need to remind myself of the advantages of this job.

one of the biggest advantage...

i get discounts in almost all insurance!!! HAHAHA
damn shiok.

beside the usual Life, health, accident insurance, i get discounts in saving plans. and more importantly investment funds!!
cheaper funds for me!


and thats not all, i can get discounts in other insurance!

Car insurance!
u know how shiok it is to get discount on your own car insurance? Hahaha..damn shuang can.
Travel Insurance!
Mortgage Insurance!

damn shiok.

Ok now that i've cheered myself from monday blues...time to go back to work again.
monday monday monday....haih!

And I present all my awards to all my employees!

i've just watched the repeat encore telecast of Stars Awards 2005.
Okok i know i'm a bit slow. paiseh lah, i was working when Stars Awards was telecasted live.

In fact, i remember i was at the client's place, going through the policy when the tv was blaring, and I was quite sian knowing that I have to give it a miss.

nothing like 3-hours of self-praising and gloating.


Pork Barrel Awards 2005

And as usual, Cherub feels like subscribing satellite TV immediately after watching mediacorp's shows.
oh wait, satellite TV's banned here...damnit.

I almost choked when the hosts said something abt how special the awards are, that Channel 8 and Channel U must co-host them together in both channels so that all singaporeans can watch them. something like that lah.

wah liew, u mean got pple somewhere on our island that receive Channel 8 but not channel U?
or pple who can get Channel U but not Channel 8?

CANNOT BE RIGHT?

both are free-to-air broadcast. how many pple could there be with only 1 but not the other free channel?? Pls lah!! want to force pple to watch your company own-awards-give-own-pple show, say so lah.

Really...... i can't, for the sake of entertainment, think of a single good reason from 2 channels broadcasting the same show.

and i can't help but feel its a pork-barrel politics award show.

来啊，来啊。。。。分猪肉啊！！！！！

I have no idea why is our NATIONAL PRESIDENT there? eh, mr nathan, i don't mean to be rude, but do you have better things to do? I mean, you're a president! surely u should be endorsing some more important national event? or maybe, u know go through the constitutions and be a real president? Or do some real work for the people? After all, you're the PEOPLE's PRESIDENT. Ok lah, not really choosen by us, but by a shadow committee that decides who and who are eligible for president *silly me! i always tot thats the role of elections, but hey he's still an "Elected President", elected by the citizen's elected government's 'elected' Presidential Committee.....*

why are u endorsing an entertainment show!!!

and for that matter, why would celebrities be happy about receiving an award from a President?
I mean, if i'm a celebrity, surely I would be very happy if i receive an award from a vetern actor. Or a renowned singer.
or someone who entertains very well lah.

A national president??????

haih, wat does cherub know.....



anyway, my 2cents worth.
programming quality was definitely much better when there were 2 TV rivals.
yes, competition was fierce. money was lost.
but surely that's the singapore way? u know, free and most competitive market?

it was ugly only when each side mustered resources in other avenue (read: newspapers and other print media) to give biased and one-sided reports.
straits times would report on Today's flaws and Channel 8 & 5 problems.
Today would similarly report on SPH when their stocks plummets.

and of course there are other unfair advantages, most notably Mediacorp's government subsidies for social documentary and news productions.
Plus, with liberalisation new and fresh, both rivals are confused and slugging it out.

its ironic that the act on Competitive was unveiled just before the 2 TV stations mergered.

the Compeititive Act would have stabilised the market and give a fairer assessment.
And in any case, the presence of 2 TV stations have given so much more choices and better quality in programming.
How could that be a bad thing?


Maybe if the 2 TV stations are still around, we shld have a real national StarAwards. And each stations would a pro-rated percentage of the subsidies based on each station's performance in the star awards.
then it would be real competition, real fun. and no more pork barrel politics!!
and it would be DAMN ENTERTAINING!!! :D

sigh. we'd never know...

but i do know one thing.


Most Drama Queen 2005! You win!



Zoe Tay, you're damn entertaining lah!!!

#1 reason why I like taiwanese....

my close sec sch friend is venturing overseas to taiwan soon.



taiwan

i asked which city he was going and he told me "台中" (Taizhong, more commonly spelt in english as Taichung)

so i asked him gingerly, "where is Taizhong located? Is it in southern taiwan, or northern?"

he proceeded to stare at me, giving me the dun-think-you-are-my-insurance-agent-then-i-wun-stab-you.

i gave him my innocent look.



he then explained, in a not-so-kind-way.

台中, the name Taizhong already means that its in the centre of Taiwan. The chinese characters for Taizhong is using "Tai" 台 from Taiwan (台湾), and "zhong" 中 , meaning central.

Wah like that also can!
Suddenly, the cogs in my brain turned.

The capital "Taipei" 台北, using the chinese characters for "TAIwan" 台 and "north" 北, because this city is in north of Taiwan!

Wah. Cherub is so clever.

Eh, so i asked in my most sincere way, is there "Tainan" 台南, using the chinese characters for Taiwan and South, referring to a southern city of taiwan.

By then everyone knows cherub is turning into crappy mode and proceeded to ignore me.
(oh btw, I asked abt "Tainan" as a JOKE. and i just googled it and realise that there IS A TAINAN. 台南
Nabeh.)

these taiwanese pple really very lazy to name their cities.

so, i wonder aloud. wat about a city in east Taiwan?
Taidong? 台东 (once again, i thought of this as a joke, but guess what? THERE IS A TAIDONG.)

city in west taiwan? Taixi? 台西？
WAH REALLY GOT TAIXI!!!

what abt northeastern taiwan? Taidongpei?
southwestern? taixinan?

HAHAHAHA.
what about south-south west? (geography students shld remember there is north-north-west, south-south-east kinds of directions)

so shld we call them Tai-nan-nan-xi?

HAHA.
i like taiwanese pple :)


the chinese characters read "guys love binlang" (binlang is "betel nuts", something that taiwanese chew, like tobacco. And the girls selling binlang are dressed sexily. VERY. =)

They use the darnest words.

Taboo Card Game. Sounds a bit erotic...only.

Taboo is this card game where 2 teams play against each other. A player has to describe a word to let his team-mates say out the word(s) on each card, but he cannot use the taboo words listed on same card.

For example, as taken from here:

Example: How do you get your team to say the word BIRTHDAY... if you can't say the words HAPPY, ANNIVERSARY, CANDLES, PRESENTS or CAKE?

You might say: "Friends and family sing to you once each year," or "You celebrate this event by blowing out a fire on top of a frosted dessert." Or you might hum the well-known tune until your team shouts, "Birthday!"

Very interesting game as it reveals what others think of some specific words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cherub: something-bob! this something-bob is a cartoon character! he lives in the ocean!
teammates: (gives a lot of guesses but all wrong)

[playword: sponge (face-palm)]

cherub: guys like to see girls wearing this!
teammateR: bikini, g-strings.....
teammateE: nothing!!
teammateE: yah wad, guys like girls to wear nothing...

[playword: mini-skirts]
(teammateE suggested that i should have said "guys are happy when girls wearing this sit opposite them in MRT")

player: big tits are...?
teammate1: boobs?
player: yes. but longer *player proceeds and give more descriptions*
teammate1: booby trap!!

wah "booby traps" also can use "big tits"...damn creative. you deserve this point lah!

[playword: booby trap]

player: vinegar is...?
DLG: ethanoic acid!!
*everyone proceeds to stare at DLG*
(note: DLG graduated with a degree in science. Now we know how useful that is.)

[playword: jealousy]

player: this is DLG, DLG is a.....?
cherub: virgin!
*DLG stares at cherub*

eh say u pure and innocent mah.....

[playword: scientist]


player: teammateE is this!
cherub: cheebye?

[playword: critic]

The most classic:

player: Girls like to eat this.
teammate1: Cum!

excellent deduction.

Greener on the other side - Part 3

A friend of mine made a very sharp observation recently.
almost everyone is unhappy with his job.

Does your dad encourage you to join his line?
Not many dad does.

His father is in accountancy, and he discourages his son strongly.
a mutual friend's dad is doing business in trading, encourage his sons not to do this line.

and we continue to bring out numerous cases where dad discourages sons/daughters to join their industry. we can only think of a few exceptions where family business is involved.

heck, my dad is in construction, and he started his company from scratch, but he doesn't want me to take over: construction is too tough.
even in his latest venture in retailing/trading/groceries, he doesn't want me to join this line too: he says this job is too tough and competitive.

say i make more money doing insurance. haha.

my dad's favourite line:

your dad is as poor as a church mouse.